The Incredible Diaper Shredding Dog

Last night, I was watching America’s Got Talent and the Olate Dogs performed.  This was an incredible act.  Those pooches were doing back flips, twists, somersaults, and dancing on command.  That same evening, my dog, a miniature daschund, snuck into my newborn son’s bedroom and shredded up some shit diapers she had pulled out of the garbage.  Somehow, I don’t think we’re going to be a million dollar headlining act in Las Vegas. 

I also highly doubt that we will ever be celebrated for any of her other many talents, including pissing on the floor whenever she meets a new person, barking uncontrollably when the wind blows, stashing my underwear under the bed, and digging large holes in various areas of our yard.  Despite all this, I love my dog to death.  She is, however, often told, “You’re damn lucky you’re cute, Darcy.” 

With both pets and people, that’s the definition of true love: cherishing an individual with all of their flaws.  True love cannot exist, either, without forgiveness.  When Darcy piddles on the floor, I wipe it up with a paper towel and then get over it.  Of course she gets reprimanded, but I don’t hold a grudge against my dog.  When my husband leaves dishes on the counter, he likewise hears about it, but I rinse them off, put them in the dishwasher, and get over it.  If individuals were not capable of such acts, divorce would run even more rampant.  No marriage would last longer than a year, and all parents would disown their children for forgetting to put the toys away. 

My dog may never be a million dollar act, and she probably will never even ever be completely potty-trained, but Darcy still melts my heart.  So, okay, I once saw her eat some cat turds she had dug up in my mother’s flower bed, and I’ve also caught her with her head stuck in a pizza box.  I know I’ll never have her jumping through hoops or giving high-fives. But I also know that she will always be my special star: Darcy -- the incredible diaper shredding dog!

 

You can watch the true talent here.  See the Olate Dogs perform: http://www.nbc.com/americas-got-talent/video/olate-dogs-quarterfinals/1410999